The Rose Garden

Hi Everybody!

OK, so your here either because you actually give a lick about me or you made a wrong turn. In any event, this is my homepage, devoted to that funny little model called Matt.

Useless personal statistics

  • My birthdate is Feb. 14, 1977. Yes, a holiday. I'm special.
  • My personality type is INTP. Whatever that means.
  • I procrastinate severely.
  • I have a clean driving record.
  • Yes, I don't like the Spice Girls.
  • I live in Wisconsin, but do *not* have a "da Packers" accent.
  • I am a virtuoso on drums and percussion, a decent bassist, a mediocre guitarist, and an awful singer.
  • I have a talent for impersonating cartoon characters; notably Eric Cartman, Terrance & Phillip, Hank Hill, Boomhauer, and many Simpsons characters.
  • I carry a handicap index of 6.7, making me better than 90% of all golfers in the world. Of course, to be a professional, you need to be better than 99.9% of them.
  • I laugh uncontrollably when I hear the buzzer on "Family Feud".
  • I know where every interstate highway in America goes without looking at a map.
  • I lust after the teenaged Maggie Simpson for no apparent reason.
  • I am a master at several games on "The Price is Right", notably "Ten Chances".
    Last updated August 13, 1998

    Matt now has times as much musical talent as the Spice Girls.

    My Creations:

  • The Cromulent Simpsons Page - Everything Simpsons
  • Cinderella Story - The Caddyshack Sounds Page.
  • Matt's Photo Album
  • Lifelong dreams - Similar to Homer Simpson's "Lifelong dreams"

    Favorite links

  • The Terrance and Phillip Page - *pffft* Don't forget your Kroft dinner.
  • - the largest "South Park" fansite
  • The Onion
  • ESPN Sportszone College Football Chat - talk to "CheeseHusker", also known as yours truly.
  • The Spice Girls Suck club
  • Access Software - Makers of Links 98'
  • The Simpsons Archive
  • The Simpsonian Institute
  • Official Van Halen site
  • Great Rock N' Roll Swindle - Sorry Ed, but David Lee Roth is Van Halen.
  • Official Dave Matthews Band website
  • The Official Rush Page
  • The Official AC/DC Page
  • Husker Press Box
  • Flyers Central
  • The PhillyFlyers Page
  • Mark's Unofficial Flyers Homepage

  • Visit some good friends of mine:

  • The Yellow Page by Tammy Hocking
  • Sweet Home Marengo by Matthew "The Captain" Kurth
  • The Church of Lisa Simpson by Aaron Varhola
  • The Penguin's Homepage by Chris Fitzsimons
  • by Haven Schreck
  • Artist Brothers by Ondre Lombard

    Wanna chat??

  • I have ICQ. #5521694.
  • I am on IRC frequently as "Cartman", either in DalNet or WTnet. Channels include #watertower, #simpsons, and #shazzbutt.
  • I visit ESPN's College Football Chat, known as "CheeseHusker"
  • I have the handles "Bart of Darkness" and "FunkLord of USA" on WBS but I hardly ever use them anymore.

    This site is 100% Spice Girl Free....Wheee!

    Mail to:

    AOL really sucks....hopefully I might be getting rid of it soon : )